That line is going to be stuck in my head for a while.
Alright, Erando wanted to know what "no" means in Japanese. Now that I have my fucking Japanese grammar book I can finally say what it means with some confidence...
First one, Possessive Marker. The best two examples I have for this are "atashi no guitar" and "Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu." The first one I got from K-on where the teacher is using her teeth to play the guitar. The guitar's owner, when she sees this, cries out, "atashi no guitar!" This of course means "my guitar!" The second one is the title to an anime. There are several ways to translate this. One: "Suzumiya Haruhi's Melancholy." Two: "The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi." Three: "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya." I'll admit that Two and Three are technically the same, but Two follows Japanese ways better than Three. Meaning that they give the last name first. The only reason there are three opposed to four is because I would have given the first two if the three one wasn't worth mentioning. The third one is the title that I've become accustom to, and is the official American title. Either way you slice the three, they all have the same meaning.
Second one. Noun Modification. Hmmm... this one is going to be interesting to explain... I'll copy what is in the book and then elaborate. I'll also put where the "no" should be in the translations.
"This usage of 'no' is similar to the possessive, but it is seen more with compound nouns or noun phrases. Examples: Suugaku no kurasu wa, muzujashii desu. This math *no* class is difficult. Amerika no tabemono wa, oishii desu. American *no* food is delicious."
Ok, even I know what this looks like. This is just like adjectives. The thing is that Japanese has some very different rules for adjectives, and I'll cover some more of it later. For now I'll leave it at this: "no" can be used to describe things... they just are weird about it.
Third one, Appositional. This one is simple. Nikuya no Doi san wa, okanemochi desu. The butcher", Doi," is rich. The part in quotes is the part that "no" makes grammatically... or something... Let me explain it this way (so I feel better.) This is used for whenever someone wants to specify which butcher, candlestick maker, or whoever that the person speaking wants to talk about, in one sentence and with no follow up questions needed. Of course with the example (or the vast knowledge you have, Erando) there really is no need for my version of it, now is there?
Fourth one, Norminalization. Aside from looking weird, there are two ways to do this. One is with "no" (otherwise I wouldn't be mentioning this now would I?) the other is with "koto." The way they define "norminalization" is something like this- a way to make verbs or clauses into nouns. This is not a word for word quote but I do feel that the meaning is there. The difference between "no" and "koto" is only two things. "No" can't be used in a predicate form and it is less formal than "koto." Examples: Watakushi wa taberu no ga daisuki desu. I like eating very much. "Taberu no" translates into "eating." Ryoko suru no wa tanoshii desu. I enjoy traveling. "Ryoko suru no" translates into "traveling." I understand this one a little, but not fully to define it by myself alone, just saying (even though it should be the first thing I said.)
Fifth one, Norminalization... again? The one right above is for verbs, and I believe you can see that... somewhere. This one is for adjectives. I did say that I would be getting around to this. While I can save myself the hassle of explaining this version of "no" usage, I'll do it anyways. This way I can't be accused of with holding something that I know... or sort of know. I'm going to just give the examples in English since it will be much easier to get the meaning across.
Questions: What types of food do you like? What type of dresses do you like? A blue or red hat?
Answers: Sweet foods. Cute ones. Red hat.
Usage: Amaino. Kawaiino. Akaino. (Amai means sweet, kawaii means cute, and akai means red.)
Here is how they explain it- "As with English, this form usually occurs in a context, that is, answering a question, or referring to something mutually understood." Ok... why didn't you just say that? I wanted to explain it the best I could... bite me. In this usage of "no," the "no" is simply slapped on the end of an adjective (as shown with the usage.) Which means that the "no" that has been asked about of it's usage isn't really this one. The "no" that had been asked about fell between two words and was separated by spaces. Since I wanted to cover "no" in an it's entirety, I went ahead and included this as well.
Final one. Quite simply, "no" is a part of the phonics of the Japanese language. Phonics- "a method of teaching reading and spelling based upon the phonetic interpretation of ordinary spelling." Hmm... I'm no longer on the same page as dictionary.com now... The point is "no," with it's shit load of uses, is a sound and a character of the Japanese language. You are bound to hear "no" several times in a sentence but it doesn't always mean that it is following one of it's grammar rules... although I have to admit, it looks like about ninety-five percent of the time it will be. This, much like the fifth usage of "no," may never be run into with the likes of you since it involves the hearing of the Japanese language (and the knowledge to interpret it) or the reading of kana and kanji. Once again, just covering everything about it... because I can...
Ok, that covers all the "no" I know about (pun deferentially not intended) and learned about. As I mentioned in the fifth and final usage, you won't have to worry about them. In fact, the only reason for worrying about any of them means that you are learning enough Japanese that you might as well learn the whole damn language. Although the thought had crossed my mind, "The Japanese are using a negative word like that for what now?" So I really can't make fun of you that much now can I? I will say this, if you see "no" along with some other words that aren't English, it only means that the sentence, or whatever, is one step away from being fully translated. We can take something that is completely Japanese (this means that it is using both kanji, Chinese characters, and kana, hiragana and katakana) break it down into kana, then romaji (the shit I have to type in whenever I want to type a Japanese word... I mean Japanese words that are written in the English alphabet), and then it is almost as simple as getting a dictionary out and looking the words up... except of course for the random grammar rules they have. Knowing what it means is nice and all.. but I don't see a viable reason for you to know it, Erando... I guess it would help you a little for your bloody yoai... but I don't really think I should be encouraging you with that...
If anything this will sate a genuine curiosity, but it will only lead to other questions... questions that I feel would be best answered by yourself. Anyways, what you do with this knowledge is up to you. Whether you know it for use or just for the fun of it I don't really care. For that matter, if you even bother to remember it.
I hope this answers your question (though I still can't see you using a whole lot) and I'm glad to have been of some use to your insanity... or something... fuck, I just need to go to sleep.